


never a day

by zenexit



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Angst, Canon Era, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Analysis, F/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Past Child Abuse, chrom is mentioned enough for me to tag him, the child abuse is super vague, the death tbh is what we all expect it to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 18:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7373359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zenexit/pseuds/zenexit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was then Frederick decided he would serve his halidom, his kingdom, for all of his life. It would not be for this King, but for the children he had sired. For Emmeryn, the princess who shone like the sun itself, a light benevolent and kind, who was forced to be wise beyond her years. Frederick knew at 12 and her at 7 he had no place to judge her maturity, but he couldn’t help the large sadness that came upon himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	never a day

**Author's Note:**

> fire emblem awakening sure does have some whacky ages! so here's a reference for what i put everyone at  
> beginning: Fred 12, Emm 7, Chrom 4  
> middle: Fred 16, Emm 11, Chrom 8  
> end: Fred 26, Emm 21, Chrom 18
> 
> Also the coronation scene is canon related. It happened but I couldn't quite remember what was said so I changed it up and added Frederick (who I know wasn't there before).  
> A lot of this is based on personal headcanon though!  
> There's very background (and vague) hints at child abuse towards Chrom, but you can ignore it if you want to. 
> 
> last but not least a giant thank you to Henry for editing this for me, you're wonderful and I love you <3

Frederick remembered the first time he had ever laid eyes on Emmeryn as if it had happened just a few moments ago. It was a rainy day, the water catching in the ground and turning it to mud. The water and mud were running all over, slowly pooling up and flooding. It wasn’t a high flood, ankle deep at most. It was in this rain Frederick was responsible for walking along with the other pages to the field where they would be having a test of strength. It was his fourth and final year of being a page, making himself one of the most likely to win in today’s competition. It was a matter of respect for Frederick that he won. He was the best of all of his peers, and although he hated to say it, the difference in skill was clear to everyone who saw it. 

Today the pages were going to be performing for the Exalt. He had arrived, walking in the back of the group. He was a tall man, standing proud and confident compared to those who surrounded him. There was one man on each side, holding what appeared to be a tarp over the King’s head. The drizzle that was actually coming down onto the plastic dripped off the sides and onto the men, pouring into their hair and streaming down their faces. The two continued to face forward though, without hesitation, they held steadfast. A part of Frederick admired the two, the dedication they were showing for their King was admirable. The rest of Frederick felt like something had crawled under his skin and died. Why didn’t the King just walk with the rest of them, caught in the light rain? Hold the practice inside? 

He’s an Exalt, Frederick decided, this must be what there is to expect from royals. It was his first time ever seeing one outside of classroom material. Frederick found himself… Disappointed. It was his job to serve a noble, shouldn't they act more like their own title? What was a King without his people? It all left a sour taste in his mouth. Frederick could hear his father’s disappointed tone in his voice, telling him how important to family honor this entire thing was. Frederick was another in a large line of family members who served the crown. Be there a son, he would be sent to train as a knight as soon as he could. Frederick was hardly 12, and he had been here already for four years. It was something he was proud of, to know he could do such a dutiful purpose. But, to whom? That was the real question he was currently tasting in his mouth. 

The pages all arrived at the field and got in line, Frederick doing so simply out of habit while his mind was elsewhere. He turned his eyes to the horizon behind the King, who was still making his way up the muddy slope. There was another small group not too far behind that Frederick hadn’t noticed before. It looked like it was more assorted nobles and Frederick let himself watch for a few seconds before he looked back to the knight in charge of their training. It was funny, looking back on it, how vividly Frederick could remember this day and everything about Emmeryn in it, but almost all the other faces around him blurred together. It was just a grey wash of shouted commands and boys yelling. The rain begun to let up, not that it mattered. The most dangerous part of the day came not from above, but below. While most of the boys put stock in their feet on the ground, that was not what was most important; with the ground covered in mud, it would be much harder to have a proper mount for their attack for there was no grip to the ground whatsoever. Frederick kept his lips sealed on this however, as he later came to feel guilty about. His mind just wasn’t there. 

The King walked forward finally, his men no longer needed with the slowing of the rain. His mark was clear as day, one sleeve missing from his outfit to show off the brand on his left bicep. He looked out over the boys, taking a moment for his stare to bore through each and every one of them. For a moment Frederick wondered if it stayed on him longer than the others, but shook it off. If it was, it was simply because even at 12, he was taller than all of his peers. 

“You are all going to fight for me.” The King began, voice deeper than Frederick expected. It was almost frightening sounding. But Frederick knew this fear would be silly and willed it away, to be afraid of one's own King would be ridiculous.  The boys yelled their agreement to the King’s statement and he looked pleased.

“Today you will show me which of you is the best. Who will be at my strong enough to serve under me? Show me your strength, men.” There was a glint to his eyes that Frederick wondered about. 

The knight in charge moved forward again, barking orders again about matchups. Frederick’s memory here was just as blurry but he remembered that he was winning. Winning against everyone they matched against him. There was a point where he was doing so well the nobles clapped for him at every swing he made. It was exciting, his blood rushing as he kept pushing forward. It was there he made his mistake, against some soul he didn’t remember the name of.

The muddy ground pulled out under the young man’s feet, eyes widening in shock for a moment. Frederick had been pressing forward the moment before that, his sword going in a stabbing motion. It was a normal offense, one that could have and would have been parried easily. Instead it tore through the side of the young man who let out a startled cry. It didn’t go straight through the stomach, rather off center, but the blade was still stuck in flesh. Frederick felt the panic set in as the boy hit the ground, blood pooling into his shirt as he continued to scream. There was a laugh behind him he would never forget, the thick and heavy laugh of the King.

People paused, watching, no one moved yet, as if waiting to see what Frederick would do. All thoughts halted in his head in that moment, training flooding out of him, traded instead of pumps of adrenaline that didn’t know the first thing about healing. 

“We have to move him,” a small voice said behind him. The crowd, if at all possible, became even more silent. Frederick turned his head, eyes wide and hands clenched in front of him. He didn’t know it, but there were tears there as well, mixed in with the horror in his gaze. 

Before him stood a small girl, light green dress above her ankles, staying out of the mud. She had long blonde hair which fell gently over her shoulders, and determination set in grey eyes. She was so small, and definitely younger than Frederick, but her eyes were so sure. There was a red mark set above her eyes, clear as day the same kind of brand as the King. Frederick’s body screamed at him to hit his knees at the sight of the princess, but all he could do was stare. 

Something broke in Frederick moments after, body moving automatically to quickly turn and pick up the boy. He was careful not to bump into the sword that was still stuck in him. Around him the adults were moving again, acting to save the boy now that the princess herself had moved. She was practically invisible to them now though, everyone pushed past her and grabbed the body out of Fredericks arms. He was hauled off, put on a horse, and rushed to a healer as fast as he could be. Frederick felt a quiet part of his brain ask why they didn’t have one here to begin with.

The King chuckled quietly to himself and clapped a hand on Frederick’s shoulder, smiling down at him as Frederick heard his body’s instincts scream at him to run. 

“Good job, you’ve got a future ahead of you.” After that he turned and returned to his entourage. The princess was still in front of Frederick as people began to head in either direction, the knight yelling for the pages to reassemble. Frederick didn’t move though, those grey eyes still locked in his. He could see kindness in them, the type that her father would never know. 

“You didn’t mean to do that, did you?” She asked quietly. Frederick cleared his throat and shook his head slightly. 

“That’s good, I’m glad.” She smiled at him slightly and then frowned again. “I hope he’s going to be okay…” Her thoughts seemed to trail off. She wrapped her arms around herself, and whether she was scared or cold, Frederick wasn’t sure to this day. She turned and left and Frederick found himself wondering the same, as well as how an angel could have landed amongst a kingdom filled with thorns.

\--------------

It wasn’t just Emmeryn that was a jewel compared to the King, Frederick reasoned with himself later. He had been picked up as a squire easily enough, getting assigned to one of the head knights in the King’s personal guard. His father couldn’t have been more proud, and Frederick felt the same anxiety from before well up in his stomach at the announcement. Although, at the same time, he would get to be closer to the kingdom’s own princess now.

From his spot in the castle, Frederick came to meet the other nobles thusly. He met the small blue haired lord that was tugged around like a doll, a young prince the King had been overjoyed to have. His future blood drinker he had called him, excited for a son that could be used to fight wars. The prince had come to be before Frederick had taken step in the castle, but the latest edition, a young princess, was born shortly after he was added to the roster. Emmeryn, Chrom, and Lissa… Frederick had wondered if there would be any more, before word had come that their mother had passed on in childbirth. 

The castle held a large ceremony for it, covered in black. Emmeryn was there, her pale face felt like that of a ghost as she stared out into the crowd from the spot the royal family had at the precession. Frederick found himself wanting to run to her side, to kneel and take her hand gently in his. To let her know she wasn’t alone. But somehow, despite it all, she managed to walk forward for her own speech about her newly parted mother. She spoke fondly, eyes misted with tears, and she managed to smile at the faces around her. The young prince took simply to weeping, his small fists balling up in his eyes. Frederick wished he could move forward to hold him too.

It was the small subtle things that hurt Frederick to take in during the ceremony. How the King looked so bored and disinterested in his own wife’s funeral. The way he had grabbed the back of Chrom’s outfit, making the collar tighten around his son’s throat. Or how it wasn’t even his hands holding his newborn child, but those of a very distressed looking maid. It was then Frederick decided he would serve his halidom, his kingdom, for all of his life. It would not be for this King, but for the children he had sired. For Emmeryn, the princess who shone like the sun itself, a light benevolent and kind, who was forced to be wise beyond her years. Frederick knew at 12 and her at 7 he had no place to judge her maturity, but he couldn’t help the large sadness that came upon himself.

And despite it all, he couldn’t help the loyalty that begun to build inside of him. If this was who the kingdom would be turned to, then perhaps the people had a chance afterall. There would never be a day, Frederick promised himself, that he would leave their side. Never for a moment would Emmeryn feel threatened, hated, or in danger. He would be there, by her side, to protect her. 

\--------------------------

The day the Exalt King of Ylisse died, the kingdom felt like it had breathed for the first time in forever. Lungs filling with desperately needed air, just when the lack of it was beginning to burn. There were those who were upset by it; the nobles and war leaders who enjoyed to drink in the sight of the blood of their enemies, in particular. It was all about power to most of these men, and Frederick knew it. His own father had passed in the war with Plegia, though he couldn’t force himself to be sad over the letter he received. It talked about how his father had died nobly in battle, protecting his King. Frederick felt sick, if anything, reading that. He knew his father would happily follow the King into hell, and now he got to do just that. 

The young nobles of the Halidom were also upset. Losing a father, no matter the type of man he was, was hurtful. The most concerning of the three was Emmeryn, 11 years old and having only recently passed her birthday would now be crowned Exalt. Frederick worried for the young princess, but there was only so much a squire could do. He knew his time as one was almost up, but there was no way he could rush a ceremony such as this. In fact, his knighting would likely be delayed because of the turmoil for the affairs of the country. It was to be expected and there was no room for disappointment when so much else had to be done. 

The crowning ceremony was one that had people pooling outside of the door to stand witness to. It was a large chamber in the castle, but it wasn’t nearly enough. Emmeryn had announced anyone who wanted to witness, no matter their status, had a right to attend if they had the means to. It was something Frederick was against, but he couldn’t say something along those lines at all. He could simply stand against the wall, and feel a moment of pride to swell in his heart that he had been requested to attend the ceremony. It was a letter from the future Queen herself and it had made Frederick’s veins feel like they had been pumped his energy, causing him to eagerly up his morning training to double his own effort for the next week leading up to the ceremony. He wanted to be in the best shape possible for such an event, to serve his new exalt as well as he could. 

Frederick wondered how Emmeryn was taking the new responsibility. She walked forward into the room and greeted everyone kindly, looking out into the sea of eyes facing her. Frederick wanted to take her away seeing the room before her, how each set of eyes were filled with mistrust and malice. He wouldn’t blame them entirely, for the wars her father had wrought had brought far too much suffering to the people. They didn’t know her though; they didn’t know Emmeryn. They didn’t know the girl, she whose eyes wouldn’t waver at the sight of someone hurt in front of her. How she would be there to pick each and everyone of them up. 

The ceremony began as normally as it could, the coronation itself going smoothly. It was as soon as the crown graced her blonde head that the crowd began to ripple in a dissatisfied way. There were angry mutterings beginning to build in the crowd. Frederick couldn’t move fast enough in time to stop the first stone from being hurled at Emmeryn.

The stone collided with the side of her face, scratching her cheek as it was flung. Frederick didn’t bother to check if there was blood, moving only on instinct. Blood rushing through him and heart pounding in his ears, Frederick might as well have been seeing red. Pushing through the crowd he grabbed one of the standing men, his dirty and thin frame taking up Frederick’s entire line of sight. He wasn’t gentle when he grabbed his arms and pulled them behind, firmly holding them in place. Before he could shove the man on the ground there was another stone hurled at Emmeryn, hitting her crown.

Before Frederick could move, or any other knight for that matter, Emmeryn held up her hand, halting them in their tracks. More stones followed, colliding against her without hesitation, but she just looked out into the crowd with her grey eyes shining. 

“You have all endured so much sadness,” she began, “and it is nothing for me to do the same, standing in front of my people. Our time is one that calls for peace, an era of war and bloodshed left behind upon this land.” The stones continued to rain, but it seemed as if the majority of the people before had stopped, choosing to listen to the Exalt. Frederick himself couldn’t move his eyes from the scene in front of him.

“I promise, I will do anything I can to give you all the peace you deserve.” A few more stones flew, hitting both Emmeryn and space around her. 

“The cost of my life would be a small one to pay. I dedicate it to all of you, completely.” She smiled again before a stone collided with her face, hitting her in the nose and dropping to the ground. From where Frederick stood he saw blood begin to come out of it, a small drip falling to Emmeryn’s lips. 

From somewhere in the crowd there seemed to be a dissatisfied ripple once more. A man’s shout echoed out, claiming the Exalt was lying and more followed. For neither the first nor the last time in his life, Frederick cursed group mentality. He prepared himself to move, to make his way front to grab Emmeryn and escort her out, but before he could he was cut off by a child’s scream. 

“Don’t you see what you’re all doing to her?!” Chrom screamed. He had run up to Emmeryn’s side and was grabbing her hand, trying to pull her back. He was looking out into the crowd, blue eyes wild and desperate. Frederick felt like the breath had come out of his lungs looking at that small face and the pain already woven so clearly into it. 

The crowd paused, hush falling over them, as if for a moment they came to their senses. They were stoning a child, a young girl of 11 who was forced to take the crown. A girl who could be easily any of their own, who was promising a world of peace to them. A desperate younger brother, trying and struggling to protect his sister, unable to stand aside and watch her bleed needlessly. 

A man hefted a stone, wanting to pull back to throw it, but the woman next to him pulled it down. A few heads in the crowd bowed silently before Emmeryn, but whether it was in apology or in respect, Frederick wasn’t sure. 

\------------------------------

It was after Emmeryn’s crowning she that summoned Frederick to her side. He kneeled before her before she laughed faintly and tilted his head upwards to look at her. Frederick had remembered the red that had tinted his cheeks at such a familiar touch and the brilliant smile she had shone on him at the sight. 

“Do you remember me?” Emmeryn asked quietly. “It was a few years ago, you were a lot smaller.” Her eyes pulled at the corner when she was smiling like this, Frederick noticed. It wasn’t the sort of smile she had for her people, was the second thing he noticed. This one was almost messy in comparison. An elegance to the one she had given the people today was undebatable, but Frederick knew he would be keeping this one locked in his heart, cherished and polished.

“Of course, milady. I could never forget you.” Frederick said quietly, not allowing his brown eyes to move from Emmeryn’s grey. 

“I would like you to do something very important for me. I hope you don’t mind.” Emmeryn released her hold on Frederick’s face, and he felt the absence of her hands warmth. He had forgotten they were even still there. 

“I would do anything you desired,” Frederick said, as if there was no room to argue with this fact. Emmeryn’s smile didn’t falter, but a sad look did take up home in her eyes. 

“You are a strong knight and certainly dedicated. Your peers and mentors have all talked greatly of your prowess, claiming you have remained at all times the top of your classes.” Emmeryn folded her hands in front of her dress. Frederick’s heart soared, pride expanding in his chest at her words. 

“It is because of this I would like to put you in charge of guarding the most important people in my life.” 

Frederick couldn’t stop his brows from pulling together in confusion. This was not what he had expected at all. He had assumed Emmeryn would be putting him in the castle guard, or perhaps at best chance, her own. The honor and responsibility of guarding the young Prince and Princess….? That had been the last thing he had expected.

“The knights my father had doing it before…they won’t be serving at the castle any longer.” Emmeryn said quietly. “I’ve known you since we were both young.” Frederick bit his tongue, fighting his urge to protest they were both still young. 

“You believe strongly in what you do, and wish to protect others. You have so much pride in being a knight…it gives me hope, and strength.” Emmeryn, Frederick stopped to notice, had turned slightly pink at the ears. But it was gone as soon as it had come. 

“I know you care for others greatly, and you would never kill a man in cold blood. But you also wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t let yourself go lax, in your duty to protect. I trust you with them, and only you.” Emmeryn’s eyes drifted down from Frederick’s to glance at her hands, but when she looked back there was the same certainty there he knew so well, her gaze as weighty as it had been all those years ago that day in the rain.

“Do you accept, Sir Frederick?” Emmeryn asked.

“Of course, milady. It would be the greatest honor.” Frederick replied. Before he could fight the impulse down, he took his Exalt’s hand in his, and kissed it very gently. Promising, in that moment, to do all he could to protect everything she held so close. 

\----------------------------------

It was the fall that had made Frederick feel like his own heart had stopped. The way Chrom had rushed to her without thinking for not the first time in his life made Frederick feel like he was going to be sick. It was the way Lissa’s hands flew to her mouth, trying to hold back her strangled yell, that made Frederick feel like a failure. Emmeryn’s body, colliding with the ground and crumpling in on itself, made Frederick feel like words couldn’t begin to describe. The disgust, the anger, the nearly uncontrollable desire to sob alongside Lissa. Frederick held his position if only for the fact his legs felt like they were filled with led. 

All meaning, all purpose flew from Frederick’s body as he watched Chrom fall to his knees in front of his older sister’s corpse. Frederick wasn’t sure if he was feeling anything at all, as if he had died in that exact moment as well. 

It was Chrom’s shout, naming the King of Plegia a bastard, that brought Frederick back. His eyes shot up to Gangrel’s form. Everyone was yelling at each other and Frederick had never felt the world move so fast; it was such a strange contrast to how slow the world felt when he’d watching Emmeryn fall. 

Basillo and Flavia had run in, pulling everyone behind them. Frederick couldn’t remember any of that, his mind on complete shut down. All he could hear was his own blood in his ears. 

\----------------------

The coming days were some of the worst of Frederick’s life, his complete purpose only continuing forward because of Chrom and Lissa. In a way, he had also never been more grateful for the two. He knew if it hadn’t been for them, he would have stopped moving, choosing instead to let his outsides rot in the same way it felt like his chest was.

It was one morning when Frederick opened his eyes, still just before the light would begin to shine in that he caught his breath. Why, why had he done any of this in the first place? Because of Emmeryn? Because he had believed in her and the world she had wanted to create? Frederick was sure that was important to him, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be soothed by that.

Frederick knew Emmeryn had died of her own accord, giving her life for people like she had likely always planned to.  He knew this, and kept putting one foot in front of the other. No matter how he had failed, there was that, wasn’t there?

Everyone knew death was coming, and there was no way Emmeryn had truly wished to die there. To bring peace to her people, of course, but to die? No, Frederick was sure she wanted to keep living, to see her family smile at least once more, to see the world become the way she dreamed it would be. 

It was in one of these lost moments in the time after Emmeryn’s death Frederick became certain that he had loved her. Most likely from the first time they had met, that day in the rain; him covered in mud and seized by the idea that he may have accidentally taken a life and her, eyes as certain as her words as she held herself as if she were far older than a child. From that moment, he had loved Emmeryn with everything he had to give. He loved Chrom and Lissa in the same respect one would pay towards a lord normally, and perhaps even past that. They had become truly like family to him, at least in the level of love he had to give. But for Emmeryn, Frederick knew he would be willing to tear down the moon itself if it meant she could be alive and well. But rather than that, the sun had come crashing into the earth, ripping the ground from his feet.

The fact that Emmeryn had died for her people was what kept Frederick moving. He would not let her sacrifice be in vain. Chrom, Lissa, and even Robin…all of them were in need of someone to protect them. Not just from the war itself, but from everything else. An older guiding force to be there with them, to make sure they didn’t fall into any more traps. Frederick knew he had failed, failed miserably, and there was no going back to that. But if he didn’t keep pushing forward, continuing to try, he would never be able to live with even the memory of Emmeryn. 

Perhaps, as the time progressed, Frederick would be able to see the world Emmeryn had always dreamed of. 


End file.
